How ASL Changed My Life

Today in "I Like It," I am taking a u-turn away from books and I am recommending that you acquaint yourself with American Sign Language. 

I live with someone who is hard of hearing. He has worn hearing aids since his forties and understands maybe around 50% of any given conversation. Each year his hearing deteriorates just a little bit more.

Here’s something that a lot of people don’t understand: In most people, glasses can pretty much correct vision to 20/20. Hearing aids do not do this. What they do is amplify everything. If you get a chance, place someone’s hearing aid close to your ear and you’ll see what I mean. It’s certainly better than nothing, but not like glasses.

Helen Keller once said that blindness separates you from things. Deafness separates you from people. 

Any hard of hearing person will tell you this is true. Plunk them down in the middle of any church pot luck with its decibels of ambient noise, and they’ll sit there, and do what is called “the deaf nod.” It means - I’m smiling and nodding, but I cannot be a part of this conversation because I can’t hear a word you’re saying.

Last fall, my husband enrolled in an ASL level one course (American Sign Language). I did not. I decided to wait and see if he would “like it or not.”

Well, he likes it. Loves it, actually. It opened up a whole new world of communication to him. I remember one evening after he came home from "deaf chat” at the mall. He said that for once, he didn’t have to lean forward, hands like funnels behind his ears, straining to hear, and missing most everything. He even said it was a joy to completely turn his hearing aids right off and be a full member of the conversation.

How has ASL changed my life? I have a new appreciation for what my husband goes through. I always thought I did, but this opened my eyes even a bit wider. I am realizing that it’s okay for him to be who he is. And sometimes being “who he is” has him “talking too loud,” because his hard-of-hearing ears are telling him that his speech volume is perfectly okay.

We spent the past few winter months in Florida where we got quite involved in the deaf community and ASL learning. I took a four-week beginner’s course, which turned into six weeks. He took an advanced course and twice a week we went to evening “deaf chat.” I’m learning that most communities have something like this, usually in a mall, where deaf people, hard of hearing people, interpreters and family members just go, buy themselves a coffee and talk. In ASL, of course.

I treasured our Tuesday evenings at Dunkin Donuts, which were always followed by Taco Tuesdays at a pub called Lollygaggers.

Some of the highlights of this winter:

- Attending Children of a Lesser God, a play put on by a local troupe in an eclectic theatre in Tampa called The Space. The play was interpreted and the main character, as in the movie, was deaf herself.

- Learning that deaf people are quite capable, thank you very much. After one of the Dunkin Donuts meeting, I, my hard-of-hearing husband plus two deaf friends were headed to Lollygaggers. When we walked into the pub I thought, “Well, I’m the hearing person here. I guess it’s up to me to get us a table and take care of everything.”

I had barely put my jacket down, and the deaf gal had already very well communicated to the waitress that we wanted those two tables over there shoved together because we were expecting more people, and that she wanted a pitcher of beer. She did all this with smiles and miming. The waitress understood perfectly.

Okay then.

The fact that the bar was so noisy you couldn’t hear yourself think? Made no difference at all to this group of talkers.

- Even though we are beginners, my husband and I are finding it a useful language to communicate. It’s great when you’re out kayaking, or across across a crowded and noisy room.

- Chances are you already know some sign language. The word “Crazy”? The forefinger going in circles around the side of your head. Ask any teenager how to sign the word “Loser,” an L shaped with the thumb and forefinger and placed against your forehead while making a dumb face. Also, “come here,” “goodbye,” and “hello,” are all pretty universal in this language of pictures.

So then, why should you learn ASL?

1. You can communicate with deaf people. Even being able to say “thank you” is important and nice to the deaf community.

2. You can talk to babies. Seriously. Many parents are teaching baby sign language to infants before they learn to talk. My grand baby twins already know the signs for "more," "milk." "finished," and "again." There is some research in its infancy, that is suggesting that nonverbal autistic children are benefitting from learning and using ASL. Click here for that study.

3. You will learn a new culture. I have studied the Spanish language for most of my school years, and then a few university courses. It's a language I love. But not only did I learn a new language, but I learned to appreciate the culture that goes along with it. Culture is how a group of people thinks, and how better to know how they think, than by their words and how these words are put together. The deaf community definitely has their own culture. They are an accepting and huggy lot. They are perhaps a bit more blunt than us non-deaf. If you learn their language you will come to appreciate their culture.

4. There are many studies which indicate that learning a new language, at any age, is good for the brain. It’s especially good to learn a new language in your dotage. It gets your brain treading down a different road. I have found this to be true. I find when I’m scrambling for an ASL sign which has eluded me, I'm suddenly thinking of Spanish words. Or long-forgotten Chinese words, which we studied briefly forty years ago. I can just see the computer neural cells and synapses in my brain saying to one another. ”Okay, This is a language. Spanish? Wait. No. Chinese? Here’s the Chinese word. It's got to be Chinese. No. Wait...” Until my brain figures out the correct sign. There's a part of the brain devoted to language.

Here's an article about learning a language and Alzheimers. 

Here's an actual study about the same thing. 

In Two Weeks: A look at the TV series Luther.